Splitting up got a whole lot easier in NY

On October 14th, irrevocable breakdown of the marriage which is New York’s version of the no-fault law went into effect.  In the little time that has gone by, local divorce attorneys have seen a rise in divorce already.  New York is the last state to install this law, so it will not have such an affect on the business for an Austin divorce lawyer for example.  The new law lets one file a divorce based upon irrevocable differences instead of having to blame the other person.  Previous to this, New York couples would have to prove the partner was responsible for acts such as cruelty, adultery or abandonment by going through a one year separation.

A lot of couples are now jumping on the opportunity to end their marriages that held off on it previously because they did not want to go through a contested-divorce process.  Some supporters of the law feel that this will make an emotionally draining event easier to handle while preserving families.  Critics on the other hand feel that it makes divorce too easy for married couples to through in the towel instead of working through difficult times.

Read more about divorce in the U.S.

• Top reasons for divorce in the U.S.
• Social media & divorcing
• New York is following the crowd in no-fault divorce

The D Word

Did you know that 50-60% of newlyweds today get a divorce!  Madness, I know.  Why don’t people just date?  Till death do us part… that’s what people agree too on that day right?  At any rate, let’s check out some of the top reasons for these ridiculous percentages in divorce rates.

Top reasons for a divorce

• Money
• Infidelity
• Lack/poor communication
• Change in priorities
• Problems in the bedroom (this one is really lame, and a cover up of something else gone wrong)
• Addictions
• Failed expectations ( let’s not get married in order to “be complete”)
• Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)

Before you sit down and say I do on that special day… way way way before doing so consider doing some of the below.

• Spend some time getting to know you and alone:  A of people are chronic relationship people that “don’t do well alone”.  Even more the reason to make sure you slow down in life and get comfortable being alone.  Marriage is a nice, no, amazing addition to who you are or your life… but its not something that is supposed to “complete” anyone.  You alone are complete, and until one realizes and feels that, you may want to do the stag dance.  Once this is a concrete, heart understanding of who you are, you would have diminished a lot of problems that most relationships and marriages are doomed to.

• Once the above is done have a general idea of deal breakers.  Stick to this.

• Personally make it a point to always be improving yourself and aware of who/where you are in live and where you want to be.  That way when you mix in another person, you will know if they fit into your life and who you want to be.
The list goes on and on but these are some great starting points.  Divorce (in most cases, there are some situations that this does not cover) isn’t some inevitable statistic.   It’s the end of some poor choices, not paying attention to all of the signals and forcing a square peg in a round hole.  Once you get a grip on yourself and loving who you are fully you will make room for a healthy relationship and take away the potential of so many relationship hardships.

Love

Alright, and Can I get you some divorce insurance with your health insurance?

Dictionary.com defines insurance a  “the act,  system,  or business of insuring property,  life, one’s person,  etc.,  against loss or harm arising in specified contingencies, as fire,  accident,  death,  disablement,  or thelike,  in consideration of a payment proportionate to the risk involved.”  Well apparently you can add divorce to the list.  What exactly does this encompass?  Well it seems that it serves as a payout for the policy holder after they are divorced.  If your like me, your asking yourself, seriously?  Yes, average costs for this are around $16 monthly for every $1,250 of coverage.  While being there if your marriage fails, they somehow built in a structure that will promote you to hold on to it… at least a little bit longer.  Divorce insurance adds a premium of $250 per unit for every year after 4.  For example, a policyholder who bought 10 units got divorced after 10 years, he or she would have handed over $19,188 and would receive a payout of $27,500.

Now this may be a little bit out there and loopy but I have an idea.  I’m no Arkansas divorce lawyer or marriage guru but here me out.  How about this, instead of investing in a backup plan such as divorce insurance, you invest on just making it work.  I don’t know say, spend time and what ever money you need to get to know yourself both as an individual and then a spouse.  Things of such nature.  It seems as time goes by there are too many safety nets and conventions built to support the idea of a failed marriage.  Imagine if people put as much energy into supporting the success of marriage as they did the possible failures.